Reuters: February 6, 2009
It’s official. A Heritage Foundation study, commissioned by FOX News, has concluded that Republicans are a bunch of dicks. As the Obama Administration tries to dig the country out of the hole dug by eight years of Republican rule and after President Obama, personally, has reached across the aisle for bi-partisan input and support for his effort, Republicans have taken the following actions:
1. The House Republicans voted 177 to 0 against a stimulus package, even after it was modified to satisfy Republican demands for changes. (They voted internally to oppose the bill irrespective of what changes were made to it.)
2. Republicans have abdicated leadership of their “party” to oxycontin addict and windbag, Rush Limbaugh, whose mantra is: “I want Obama to fail.” Any Republican critical of Rush must immediately appear on his show and beg forgiveness, as Rep. Phil Gingrey did earlier this week. Gingrey abased himself before the Great God Rush and intoned things like “What was I thinking?”, “I must have lost my mind for a moment”, etc. Barf.
3. By a 55% majority vote, Republicans expressed their desire for the GOP “to be more like Sarah Palin.” Please, God.
4. Joe the Plumber was the featured guest speaker at the Conservative Working Group meeting this week. This is an organization of conservative Capitol Hill staffers, who meet regularly to chart Republican strategy. I am not making any of this up. The Republicans are basing their strategy on advice from Joe the Plumber. (Joe, who has advanced degrees from MIT and Stanford, doesn’t like the stimulus package.)
5. Republican luminaries, like Sen. Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader, proclaim that the stimulus package isn’t a stimulus package, but rather a spending package. Huh? That’s what a stimulus package is – government spending to stimulate the economy. These are the same people who passed pork-larded bill after pork-larded bill during the first six years of the Bush Administration and doubled the National Debt from $5 trillion to $10 trillion without ever saying a word about too much spending. (Sen. McConnell doesn’t speak to his first wife or their children. I know this doesn’t have anything to do with anything; it’s just a neat factoid, like Willard “Mitt” Romney having been a cheerleader.)
6. Dick “The Dick” Cheney gave an interview this week where he said that by halting illegal surveillance of Americans, stopping our torture of prisoners and closing Guantanamo and our “black site” prisons, Obama was inviting a WMD attack on America. This is the guy who, along with his puppet, Boy George, ignored warnings that Bin Laden was “determined to strike in the U.S.” This is the guy who, again with the acquiescence of Boy George, let Osama Bin Laden escape because he wanted to invade Iraq, where there were NO al Qaeda and NO weapons of mass destruction. This is the guy who (with help from that senior stud-muffin, Don Rumsfeld) has created tens of thousands of terrorists and caused millions of people to hate the U.S. by his incompetent occupation of Iraq and the killing of approximately 100,000 Iraqis and the displacement of 4 million more. And he’s telling us that if we get hit again, it’s Obama’s fault? Arghhh. Dick, please crawl back under the stone where you hid most of the past eight years.
Yes, these people are truly dicks.
I'm Not Making This Up... 